I have never known hunger until I started breastfeeding Emma 8 weeks ago. I thought running gave me an appetite back when I ran and trained for half marathons. I even thought, towards the end of my pregnancy, that I was getting hungrier and hungrier and it would be the hungriest I'd ever be. But that hunger is NOTHING compared to the hunger that I have felt the past 8 weeks.
I eat more than my husband and still have room for seconds. I'm always up for a snack, and the worst is that I am always wanting more and more food. It's a crazy hunger, and I can easily say I am hungrier now than I was when I was pregnant.
It's been SO hard to stick to healthy choices with raging hunger like this, as well as the stresses that come with being a new mommy. I am embarrassed sometimes about how much I can put down at one meal. I've been trying my best to fuel my body and stick to healthy options. Thank GOD for my portion control meal plan I follow because it helps me choose a variety of foods, not just carbs (which is what I would like...all the time). Using these portions helps me snack of fruits, vegetables, nuts, and other foods that I need to nourish myself, not just crackers, chips, and cookies.
I've talked about my binge eating past a ton on this blog. I'm pretty open about my struggles. And let me tell you, this hunger that I feel, and then the fluffiness and bloat I feel after a big meal, have been HUGE triggers for me. I haven't binged, but I am battling some intense temptations. The guilt is there, even though I know my body needs the extra calories right now between working out and breastfeeding. I'm working out, plus breastfeeding burns about 500-600 calories per day. That's a heck of a lot of food. But, my body and my belly still feel bloated after meals, and that bloat reminds me of binges, and that guilt makes me want to binge. It's crazy how our brains get us into a vicious circle, isn't it? We feel guilty about something, and that guilt makes us want to do that "thing" even more.
BUT, I don't want to binge and I am not going to binge. I am not living for myself. My body is not my own. My body is first and foremost, God's. It is to HIS glory that I care for it. My body is also my daughter's right now. My body is FEEDING another human being. How amazing is that? I've learned that if we view our bodies from a place of appreciation, it helps us care for them even more. No matter what size you are, your body is amazing! It was carefully created and functions to keep you alive. Our bodies are precious, and we should care for them!
Which is why I'm going to keep chugging along with my meal plan. I'm going to make sure I am getting the right portions of vegetables, fruits, carbs, proteins, and healthy fats. I'm going to keep running my accountability groups for my clients, and also for myself. Accountability is everything right now, and I want to ensure that I am treating my body well and checking in with others to do the same.
If you are having a hard time too, you should definitely join my accountability groups! We can keep each other focused and stay true to our goals. Whether you are breastfeeding, trying to lose weight, wanting to tone up, or want to clean up your eating habits, this group will fit your needs and help you get not track with your goals, workouts, and nutrition! I'd love to have you, the more the merrier in my opinion! Apply here for my next group and we can journey through this whole healthy-living thing together!
Until then, I'm going to keep snacking on my veggies, fruits, peanut butter, shakeology energy balls, and the occasional pizza and burger. I'm going to appreciate my body for what it has done and what it is currently doing. I'm going to nourish my body and soul, and of course, baby Emma!