Well hello there! I hope you all are having a great start to your week. Emma and I have had a crazy but oh so wonderful day, so I thought I’d share with the hopes of inspiring other Mommas out there too!
Our day started out pretty normal, I woke up, spent time with Jesus, worked out and showered. Then Emma woke up, we nursed, then came downstairs for play time/coffee time for Mommy.
Emma has been LOVING eating our food lately. Over the weekend, we went out to breakfast and she had my scrambled eggs, hash browns, and gluten free pancakes, for lunch she had beans, rice, and chicken taco meat with salsa, then for dinner she enjoyed our tilapia, rice, and butternut squash. She's been an eating machine and we are loving just giving her food off our plates and watching her explore! This morning she had scrambled eggs and steel cut oats. I had the same, but dressed up my oats a bit to make them like carrot cake oats...shredded carrots, pecans, cinnamon, and coconut oil!
We started getting Emma on a routine/schedule in January, and since then she's done beautifully! But, today was just....OFF. She usually goes down for her morning nap around 9/9:15 but it was 10:30 and she was still cranky and awake. So I put her in the car and drove out to meet my nutrition counseling client a bit early, and she knocked out in the car. She slept for our entire session which was PERFECT, then woke up before we headed home.
We got back home after a quick Trader Joe's run, and I meal prepped while Emma snacked on some butternut squash. I made gluten free spaghetti with meat sauce in the instant pot (easiest thing ever...google how!) plus an Armenian casserole dish called Tava...basically a ton of veggies with beef and spices! Hoping all three of us will be enjoying these all week long!
And then....the crankiness started.
She seemed sleepy, so we tried for a nap again but that just resulted in big ugly tears (from both of us), so I resorted to some Little Baby Bum on Netflix to calm her down, then some play time in her jumper. Then, we tried for a nap again, and that ended in more tears. So I just nursed her to sleep (which I haven't done in weeks!) and just placed her in her crib at 3:15pm, made myself coffee (yes, at 3:15 in the AFTERNOON, don't judge), and plopped down on the couch.
Even though the day was not going as planned, she gave me some sweet giggles and smiles before finally napping, and that just made my heart explode with joy. I've been worried all day about why she won't sleep, worried about our "schedule" and nursing her to sleep, and wondering if she's in pain. But, God always shows me the joys of motherhood when I start getting exhausted and wonder what I'm doing wrong.
Why isn't she sleeping? Why is she crying? Is she in pain? Gosh, I wish she could tell me what's wrong so I could make it better! My hubby better not get home from work tired because I NEED HIS HELP.
All of these thoughts went through my mind (and possibly in a text to my husband...low point), before she started giggling and smiling at me while playing. And then, my heart melted, and I remembered what a JOY it is to be a mom, even though it is the hardest thing I've ever done.
Unknowns have always been hard for me, and in motherhood, everything becomes a guessing game, and you wonder if you are doing it right or if you are missing some HUGE need your child has. But this is where grace comes in, and I would be a wreck without it! God's grace has been so present with me today, but really, it's always present. But maybe I'm just not present enough to experience it?
God never leaves us, but how many times are we distracted with our anxieties, worries, and chores, that we miss out on His grace, love, and kindness poured out over us? I'll be the first to admit, I'm a multitasking, type A perfectionist, and most of the time I'm thinking about 3-5 things at once. I don't "have time" to bask in God's grace, but His grace is what I need the most. Especially on days like this! So that's what I did today. I took a moment and thanked God for this life, for those sweet smiles and giggles, and for His grace that covers all my frustrations and anxieties.
After a 1.5 hour nap (hallelujah!), Emma woke up happy as a clam! I had a snack of an apple with some nuts, and then we had some play time!
She reallllly enjoyed the spaghetti I made and gobbled it up while we ate chicken verde & green beans!
Excuse the terrible lighting, but the meal was tastier than it looks! Promise!
I also had some carrots & hummus while I cleaned up because I still felt a bit hungry. It’s so important to listen to your hunger cues!
The rest of the night will probably consist of playtime, nursing, bath time, stories, and putting Emma to bed! And then promptly knocking out myself. Every night I tell myself I’ll watch a movie or paint my nails once she sleeps, but I end up wanting sleep above everything else! Any other moms relate??
Thank you for listening to my banter and revelations about just how much GRACE is needed in this motherhood journey. I hope you can pause today and let God’s grace wash over you, too!