Self-Sabotage, Fear, and Freedom

Those three words speak volumes to me as I sit here trying to gather my thoughts. Self-sabotage has been on my mind for a while, and it completely baffles me. I often wonder how we as humans, who are pretty self-centered and out to better ourselves, can actually be our own worst enemy. We try to blame those around us for our short comings and failures, and sometimes yes, life is rough and things happen that we don't have control over. But so many times, WE sabotage our own efforts. I wonder if it is fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the unknown, or all three meshed into one confusing mess. I think back on my life (yes, I'm only 26 years old, but things have happened to me too!) and I see so many patterns that I wish I knew how to put a stop to at 15 years old. I'd like to share my thoughts and experiences with this topic and hope to inspire those around me that it is not a pattern we have to get stuck in! FullSizeRender

Growing up, I always had a lot of goals and lists. Finish a certain number of books in a week (I was a huge bookworm), getting certain grades, practicing piano every day, etc. And for some reason, as a child, I always accomplished what I set out to do. However, starting in high school, I started to almost fear accomplishing my goals. I would get SO close to reaching a goal, and then at the last minute throw in the towel, give up, and even move in the opposite direction of where I was headed. The best example I can think of is my journey with my weight.

I was always a thin child but once I hit thirteen, the pounds started to stay with me. I couldn't do sports because of a knee problem, so my sedentary lifestyle and my love of goldfish and cookies lead to gaining 30 lbs in high school. It was a roller coaster for me: restricting to lose weight, then gaining it all back when my "diet" was too hard to follow. I finally got out of the resticive pattern in college and was able to lose weight in a healthy way. But even then, the minute I started getting into the "groove," nourishing my body, and actually feeling proud of myself, I would slam the breaks and turn towards my destructive food habits, gaining the weight back.  Even things that should motivate a person, such as an event or vacation, would only motivate me for a while. But then, literally 2 days before the event, I would give in to all my cravings and feel like I backtracked on all of my progress. It was a vicious cycle, and I've finally realized that I'm not alone in it.

Many of us sabotage our own health journeys because of fear. We fear being uncomfortable because we are "used to" the way we live. We get comfortable not reaching our goals and we think we are destined to be stuck in a destructive cycle.

It's time to stop this cycle! We deserve happiness. We should fear being complacent and NOT fear success! I've realized in this past year, and more so even in these past few weeks, that I am worth success. I am worth reaching my goals. There is nothing scary about achieving what you set out to accomplish. There is so much freedom in finally doing what you have always said you want to do.

But how do we do that? I think it really starts with a decision in our mind. We have to choose to believe that we are worth it. I believe God created each and every one of us. The Bible says we are more than conquerors in Christ. That means we were made for more than defeat! Believing what God says about you is the first step.

Then, it's changing your inner dialogue. I don't know if you've noticed, but there is always a script running through our minds, and our words can either be our best friends or our worst enemies. And guess what? We have the power to decide! God has given us a brain to think and decide things, so let's choose today, right now, to see ourselves as successful. To tell ourselves that we CAN resist those treats in the breakroom, or that it IS physically possible to fit in that 20 minute walk somewhere in our busy day. The more times you tell yourself you can, the closer you get to actually achieving your goals.

Lastly, I think you absolutely must have a plan. Take pen to paper and jot down your goals, then jot down all the ways you can think of to reach these goals. Do you have to set aside a couple hours during the weekend to meal prep? Do you have to go to bed a little earlier so you can get your workout done in the early morning? Do you have to look up some healthy recipes to change up your diet and not get bored? Write it all down, then DO THE THING! You deserve to be known as someone who follows through, attacks the day, and reaches his/her goals.

Now, if all of this seems a little daunting to you and you want some additional help, support, and guidance, please feel free to contact me! I am seeing clients and I would love to get to know you and more personally help you reach your goals. I even do Skype consultations if you aren't in the area. I am so passionate about helping people find freedom from the things that are holding them back. So, if you have any questions or want to work with me, please email me at

I hope someone out there was inspired by me pouring my heart out today! What is one thing you took away from this post? And what is one goal or task you will focus on achieving? Remember, you were made for success, and deserve every bit of it!